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10 October
2008 101 Reasons To
Join Paddy Power Casino Never ones to shy
away from the lighter side of life,
Paddy
Power Casino
have given us 101 reasons why we should play at
their Online
Casino,
as follows: No. 1. We have a
fantastic new look and feel. No. 2. We're
easier to use than an octogenarian billionaire
looking for love No. 3. Best
'Flash Games' online and in the park where all
those guys in trenchcoats hang out. No. 4.
Registration is quick and easy, unlike a contrary
snail, which is slow and difficult. No. 5. We've got
such a range of games that if we were chocolates
we'd be a box of Roses. No. 6. We've had
a fabulous facelift but not one of those facelifts
that makes you look like a surprised cat in a wind
tunnel. No. 7. We have
our own internal gaming support with real
people. No. 8. 100% sign
up bonus up to £/€101 No. 9. We now
look better than ever with our latest
redesign. No. 10.
Competitions with great prizes - holidays,
etc. Play now at
Paddy
Power Casino No. 11. Offer
Promotions 'almost' every day of the
week. No. 12. We offer
weekly and monthly promotions to all
players. No. 13. Safe and
secure gaming environment.-more secure than an
Austrian cellar. No. 14. Because
our security is tighter than a nun's...er ..shrink
to fit jeans No. 15.
Established industry reputation as a trusted
operator and internationally reputed as a smooth
operator. Oh yeah! No. 16.
Wagerworks platform, an industry leader in online
gaming. No. 17. Home of
the famous 'Money Back Special'.(Not to be confused
with the home of the Monkey Spank
Special) No. 18. We'd like
to say something cool like "rules? We play by our
own rules" but we don't - we always play by the
regulator's rules. No. 19. You don't
have to leave the house and can play in the comfort
of your own home. Where else can you play Blackjack
in your slippers! No. 20. Or your
pyjamas! Play now at
Paddy
Power Casino No. 20a. Or that
S&M outfit you picked up in Amsterdam as a
"joke" but secretly wear when you're home
alone) No. 21. Nobody
can come and steal your slot machine if you decide
to go and make a cup of tea, unless you happen to
live with Winona Ryder. No. 22. You don't
have to tip the casino employees/dealers like in a
real casino so if you're a cheapskate
Paddypowercasino is for you! No. 23. Save on
the travel cost of getting to a casino - and with
the price of petrol these days, that could cover a
whole year's gambling. No. 24. Less
pressure playing games like Roulette, you can have
a notebook of tips beside you, which they probably
wouldn't like in a casino! No. 25. No risk
of thieves stealing your winnings on the way home
so you don't have to stuff it in your socks or
other unmentionable places. No. 26. No noise,
distraction or chronic farting from others to
disturb you so you can concentrate on the
game. No. 27. You can
play at anytime of the day or night. No. 28. We're
open 24 hours a day and won't try to sell an out of
date pre-packed sandwich and a packet of
rizzlas No. 29. Realistic
online graphics that make the Sega Megadrive look
like an out-dated mid 90s fad. No. 30. What's
cheaper than having to pay foreign workers minimum
wage? Not paying foreign workers minimum wage so we
can pump our money into bigger payouts. Play now at
Paddy
Power Casino No. 31. Large
range of casino games to choose from at the touch
of a button. No. 32. No limit
to numbers and variations of games online while
there is in land based casinos. No. 33. We get a
kick out of poking fun at ourselves. No. 34. Paddy
Power is a real person, not like Spiderman or that
Jesus fella. Magic fish! What's that all
about? No. 35. Paddy
Power have been online since 2000. No. 36. The
in-colour at the moment is Green. No. 37. Elvis has
not left the building but is playing at
paddypowercasino.com...probably on a laptop while
sitting on the toilet. No. 38. Because
it's raining outside. Still. No. 39. Because
you like us! No. 40. Because
we offer your favourite games! (Except perhaps
naked twister) Play now at
Paddy
Power Casino No. 41. Because
gardening is overrated. No. 42 .Because
DIY rarely works out the way you see on a 30 minute
programme. No. 43. Because
only your Mum cares if your clothes are
ironed. No. 44. Because
you may be too old for extreme sports. No. 45. Because
flights to Vegas are expensive. No. 46.Because if
you go there you'll spend the mortgage on pink
cocktails....and cheap strippers. No. 47. Because
it's good to talk about in the pub. No. 48. Because
internet porn can seriously damage your
eyesight No. 49. Because
it's not as bad as smoking. No. 50. Because
it's illegal in the US, so it must be
good! Play now at
Paddy
Power Casino No. 51. Because
your kids are in bed. No. 52. Because
your parents are in bed. No. 53. Because
your wife is in bed. No. 54. Because
your husband is in bed. No. 55. Because
there's a dead hooker in your bed! No. 56. Because
you might have a 90% chance or a 50% chance or a 1%
chance, but you gotta believe and you gotta hope.
(Lance Armstrong) No. 57. Because
your other hobby is finished till next
season. No. 58. Because
you don't have any James Bond like characters
intimidating you in your sitting room. No. 59. Because
you can pretend to be James Bond while you play in
your sitting room. No. 60. Because
the soaps are boring and don't show enough naked
flesh. Play now at
Paddy
Power Casino No. 61. Because
your family are boring and show far, far too much
naked flesh No. 62. Because
after watching the same Scrubs episode for the 38th
time, you've realised it's not that funny and Zach
Braff is annoying. No. 63. Because
even your dog has become boring...except for when
he tries to hump your visitors' leg. That's always
funny. No. 64. Did we
already tell you we have a great shiny new website
- that's a pretty good reason. No. 65. Because
we believe in giving ourselves cosmetic surgery so
you don't have to... No. 66. Because
you're worth it! No. 67 .Because
the lady loves Milk Tray No. 68. Because
we have made this just for you...appreciate
it! No. 69. Because
you can choose a game to suit your mood...variety
is the spice of life! No. 70. Because
only you (and us!) know that you have won...no need
to share with the pretty blonde in the Casino...
unlucky for her! Play now at
Paddy
Power Casino No. 71. Because
new and flashy things are always good! No. 72. You don't
have to walk to and from casino games... take it
easy! No. 73. Because
we want the best for you! No. 74. Because
you can pull an all nighter with us... how
exciting! No. 75. Because
it's only going to get better and
better! No. 76. Because
we are excited... so should you be! No. 77.
Because...eh!...em!..... have you lost
weight? No. 78. An
anagram for Paddy Power is Yaw Dropped. Which is
almost like Jaw dropped No. 79. We give
back more money than Mother Theresa did. Or
could. No. 80. Our
dedicated workforces are mostly young and
good-looking. In Ireland, that's the exception to
the rule. Play now at
Paddy
Power Casino No. 81. Other
online casinos have online 'Coolers' who put you
off when playing. We don't. No. 82. Because
when you win in our casino, the Boss's wife loves
him a little less. No. 83. Because
we came up with 101 reasons you would like us so
much. An achievement in any language. No. 84. We hail
from the same country as U2, Colin Farrell, W.B.
Yeats and B*Witched. Some good, some bad I
suppose. No. 85. If you
have read this far and for this long, you must need
something to brighten up your nights which doesn't
involve a box of tissues and an alert
ear. No. 86. 57
Labourers died in the construction of the new site.
Honour their memory. No. 87. You have
read this far down the list and know we are serious
about these reasons No. 88. Because
we actually found 101 reasons No. 89. Because
we've got your name tattooed on our arse No. 90. Because
other casinos are so vain. They probably think that
song is about them. Don't they? Don't they? Don't
they? Play now at
Paddy
Power Casino No. 91. Because
the vast majority of the stuff on YouTube is either
(a) not funny (b) creepy or (c) a bit of
both No. 92. Because
everytime you don't play with us we a) stab a
kitten b) take food away from a starving child in
Africa c) inject a passer-by with
Hepatitis No. 93. Because
we had a tough childhood and need you...please
don't leave us alone like our daddies
did. No. 94. Because
all the cool kids are. No. 95. Because
our insecurities mean we'll always try harder to
make you love us. No. 96. Because
you know you want to. No. 97. Because
you only live once. No. 98. Because
if you do, good things will happen to
you. No. 99. Because
if enough people play with us Paddy will take all
his clothes off on live television...or keep them
on...whichever you'd prefer. No. 100. Because
you can't smell the BO off the other people
playing. No. 101. Because
you don't get distracted by the 40 year-old
waitresses with fake boobs and low cut
tops. Play now at
Paddy
Power Casino |
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